Some say marriage is the union between a man and a woman, but what is the difference between being married and shacking up?
What is marriage, really?
Is it when a couple wears a white dress and tuxedo in church and says their vows? Are they married if a red or blue dress or tuxedo is worn?
Is it when vows are exchanged? Does there have to be a priest or pastor or religious leader to make a marriage valid?
Are a couple married when the marriage license is signed? Prior to the first governmental marriage license were all couples unmarried and living in sin?
Were Adam and Eve married? If not, then why did God tell them to be fruitful and multiply?
So, then, what is the difference between shacking up and entering a marriage covenant? What is it that makes one holy and the other whorelike?
We have a feeling marriage is more permanent. It
is a commitment. It is not just the union of a man
and a woman, but a binding union--a covenant.
And, yet watch as people crow and screech for the
"right" to break covenant!
What is the right to break covenant? It is the right to make a covenant that is not meant to be kept. It is the right to swindle. At the root, it denies every person the right to make a binding agreement of marriage because if you can break loose, then you cannot bind yourself.
Who owns our marriages? Our government grants marriage licenses, and it grants divorces. On what grounds? If you and I make an agreement, don't you own my promises to you? Don't I own your promises to me?
It is highly presumptuous and dishonest for our government to presume the right to declare a divorce final. It is nothing but a theft of something holy. Can our government reverse history and make it as though promises were never exchanged?
Can it erase the moral obligation we have to honor our vows? It cannot. It is entirely powerless to do so and entirely dishonest to pretend to do so, and entirely cowardly to do this in fear of the wicked.
Honorable people honor vows, and so do honorable governments, and there will be none who enter the kingdom of heaven who will not let go of their adultery or stop defending it as if it were one's right.
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Re: What is marriage?
this is a question that needs to be answered, I have 5 children and lived with their momma for 13 years , Yes we wanted to be married and even prayed for God to join us in marriage. yes our relationship was born out of sin, but through the process I came to believe in Jesus who has shown me many times of his love, healing power,in my life. If I listen to some christian authorities , I should walk away and never look back, but I believe God loves my kids and doesnt want them to go through this and they need their father and I want to be there for them. Some say I waste my time praying for my spouse and childrens salvation and reconcilliation because we were never married by a priest or obtained a liscense, I say we took it to the highest court in existence Gods Holy court. I know God has helped my family through many hard times why would I think he wouldnt this one . It makes no sense to me, It seems to me David paid a high price for his relationship with Bethsheba but It sure looks to me Like God blessed them in the end. Its been a year and half since Ive seen or talked to my kids or my spouse,and I still love them just as much today as I did the day they left. I wont complain cause my relationship with the Father grows stronger every day and he knows the desires of my heart and he will finish the work he started in this family of lost souls until we found him and each other thanks americanbrett
hard question
Hi Brett,
I have some struggles knowing what to recommend. Some feel that a relationship that is birthed in fornication has a bad start and if the couple marry their chances of succeeding in marriage are less if there is premarital sex involved. Personally, I feel there is no such thing as "chance" but rather the couple can choose whether to stay with the commitment or not -- that is, it's not something that's "in the cards" or "meant to be" or "not meant to be" unless there is someone doing the "meaning".
I'm still not settled on the marriage license issue, but I do agree with you that it's best not to be living in sin or premarital sex and that there should be a marriage covenant with accountability to God and to others.
However, it seems your wife was the unbelieving spouse who left. I don't know if she was in adultery or not. But, you have kids, and they need both parents, too. I'm sure if she's honest with herself, she knows it as well as you do. The children also need a good example of marital faithfulness and commitment because when we stand up for the right to be unkind or unfaithful to our spouses, we cannot do so without giving our children's spouses the right to do that to our children as well. Or perhaps it isn't so much that we give them the right since that right is not ours to give, but it takes away our right to complain or seek justice against them and protection for our loved ones if we are doing the same thing to our spouses.
So many people say divorce is OK and children are resilient. They're lying. Children are not that resilient. They suffer. Their whole world is ripped apart. They're caught between two warring parents even if they divorce amicably.
Some say divorce is better than fighting all the time. They're lying again. First, divorce is not better than fighting. Second, it's a lie to suggest that those are the only two options. And, third, our children need us to model for them proper conflict resolution skills with integrity and decency like adults. To divorce because of conflict is just plain stupid, irresponsible, and incompetent, and if a person runs away from conflict that way, they'll just carry their ineptness and incompetence as parents and spouses into another relation or into perpetual singleness and the children will still never see proper conflict management skills modeled by their parents.
Sometimes people feel trapped and just want out, and to justify it, they'll throw blame and excuses and rationalizations out in hopes that some lies will stick and go unnoticed.
But, "til death do us part" is a promise, and all honorable and honest people stick to their wedding vows. And, yet we cannot force our spouses to do likewise. Nor can we force our government to behave with integrity and decency in regard to divorce. Remember, it's not the faithful spouse who gets the attorneys and judges rich but the unfaithful spouses and their extramarital lovers.
Re: What is marriage?
so what does this mean... "yes our relationship was born out of sin"... specifically?