Thankfulness can save a marriage. My pastor once quoted someone who said, "He who is not thankful for little is not worthy to receive much."

I remember hearing people at church tell me to be thankful in all things. They didn't say to be thankful for all things, but in all things. But, I didn't feel like it, and I couldn't pretend to feel something I didn't feel.

How could I be thankful while suffering? Should I be thankful it's not worse? Well, I tried, but it always seemed to flow out as sort of a phony backhanded complaint--a mockery of thanks--sarcasm--at first. Then I started to realize what God is really asking of me is for my own good.

We cannot believe something unless we are exposed to it--exposed to the evidence of it. I cannot see something red or blue unless I point my eyes at something red or blue. I cannot feel heat unless I touch something hot or get next to something hot. Similarly, I cannot believe in something unless I look at the evidence that would lead me to believe it.

If I choose to look at negative evidence all the time, I will have a negative outlook on life. If I spend my time thinking of all to be thankful for, all the evidence that there is a God who loves me, then the evidence is all around, and if my outlook is positive, I'll be joyful, and the Bible says the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Phillipeans 4 tells us to stop fretting and to think on good things. Notice that we often misread that and think this is a commandment not to think about negative things, but it's more than that. It's a command to take action--to decide actively to set aside time and think on specific positive things. As you go through the list there in Phillipeans 4, can you find things that you have forgotten to think on?

Thankfulness is a command of God that is also a gift of God. He does not ask us to thank Him because He has an inflated ego or is so insecure that He needs strokes to maintain His mental health. God is trying to bless us. When we think on the goodness of God, when we think on all the evidence there is in this world that He loves us, this gives us joy and security and peace. It makes us more attractive and less demanding. It helps relationships with family and friends because nobody wants to be around someone who is complaining all the time. We love to be around positive, uplifting, thankful, cheerful people.